Sun square Moon
Here the core solar identity is at odds with the lunar emotions. The sun’s need to be seen & counted is in conflict with your emotional instincts, habits & security. This can create a fundamental split between desires & safety & can be bring a life of challenge & struggle, inner & outer tension, until the aspects & energies are managed.
To integrate these forces can take many years, so patience & self-acceptance is part of the journey. A great strength of will & a sense of substance can be the outcome. The inevitable growth occurs through your relationship with your own power, your feelings & how you express your needs & desires. With the ego driven personality asserting different yearnings to the needs of the emotional self, there’s an internal struggle for dominance & this can create core inner conflict that will exhibit itself outwards in other areas of life – through the body, relationships, or work.
This innate clash between the two luminescences of the identity can create a challenging start to life & create insecurity, fear, physical symptoms & stress. Wherever there is tension there is the possibility of resolution & a deepening of awareness & indeed great achievement. But here it is not without a struggle. The fundamental pressure of this situation is played out with parental figures, but began way before that in past lives, or the ancestral realm, since this is a core split in the identity & its roots run deep.
The essence of the issue in this lifetime is linked to the parental relationships, but it might not be completely consciously understood, since it is so ingrained as part of the personality. Also the Sun & Moon’s features are internalised, so these parts might play out as critics, quite unconsciously. At the same time, it is important you draw emotional & energetic boundaries between your parents & yourself, & become aware of how you live out your parents’ relationship within yourself.
It is also possible that you could project these conditions onto your own children or your own children might experience the tension within themselves if you have not worked to process these sides. There might be a stoic identity that had to grow up fast & deal with warring parents; becoming a parent to your parent. Perhaps your parents did not express their love to you, so you felt starved of being free to be a child in other ways.
It can feel like an uphill battle at times as the core functions of the personality just will not coexist happily. When you try to fulfil your independence & assert your will, your emotions feel unsettled & uneasy. Alternatively, on satisfying the emotional needs, your sense of identity is undermined & you have less self esteem. It can make decisions difficult & relationships challenging. But in that, there can, over time, be a lot of inner growth & awareness garnered, ultimately creating a strong individual, capable of managing anything.
Perhaps the most frustrating part of this condition is the inability to move forward & the tendency to get blocked & thwarted. Motivation is an issue, as is discipline & commitment. You can get bored easily or just disengage when you are challenged or feel threatened. This stems from not quite fully believing in yourself, others & life. There can be trust issues. It can be the innate inner conflict that means you remain indecisive. Over time, the internal blocks & obstructions you experience such as strong emotions, symptoms, authority figures, inner critics or partners, begin to shift & you begin to be aware on what you want & who you are.
Working on the subtle insecurities that you perhaps hide from others & allowing your vulnerability to also be your strength, will bring relief & self-acceptance, which then becomes mirrored in your relationships/relationship with the world. Becoming aware of the two sides – the autonomous, independent, self-possessed side, & the emotional, vulnerable & with certain needs – helps integration. There is often a part that makes you regret your actions; perhaps because sometimes you act instinctively without awareness. Other times it can be because you fail to act where you know you should.
Either way, you either berate yourself for failing to take action or where action is taken that’s resulted in negative outcomes. Working on letting yourself off the hook is part of the path. It’s difficult because you have a need for recognition, acknowledgement & respect but you don’t want your wishes to take over your life. You are happier with contentment & internal balance, rather than striving for career goals & pushing yourself. Balancing your self-centredness with the needs of others, learning to give & take, might support more inner balance. A big part of that is learning more about your instinctive responses & what is behind them – what you fear & how you can learn to relax & slow down your reaction.
This aspect can make you a complex individual, both to yourself, as well as to others. This can complicate your personal relationships & you might struggle to find the right partner. When the limiting belief systems are analysed & unpicked, a lot of progress can be achieved, along with working with the body on a physical level to improve flow & interaction between the solar & lunar aspects, the right & left brain, & sides of the body. This can result in an instable sense of self, or emotions, that are not understood or fully explored. The resulting frustration gets in your way & despite your attempts, you cannot hide this inner conflict.
To those in positions of power, you might appear a little too autonomous, insecure or just lacking in energy. Self-awareness can support you to see yourself in the eyes of others, so you can take responsibility for your life & make the changes required. Your family, culture and society & other ways in which you are conditioned are your battleground – either lived out internally or externally. You have strong triggers, that you might or might not be aware of, that undermine your emotional, mental & physical health. Dealing with these ingrained responses can be your freedom pass. But also bringing awareness, through therapy, to this fundamental inner conflict is also necessary so you can gain more conscious understanding of why you react in the way you do.
Being able to move beyond your old patterns & the programming you have embedded is a life theme. They might have become instigated in you early, creating frustration or wanting to break free. Becoming true to yourself despite the ways in which you conform & try to fit in is the antidote. Don’t be afraid to show your true colours & develop an attitude of ‘no fear’ in social situations & when you are called to show who you are. The presumptions & expectations need to go out the window. Otherwise you will be confined to an emotional world & endure a life feeling inadequate.
The feminine side, represented by the emotions, your instinctive responses & or the body, may feel like your enemy & you may go to great lengths to control, hide or suppress these instincts. Creating a positive relationship with one or all aspects of the feminine is a large part of your healing journey. How you conceptualise yourself with your intellect, may not be the reality. Intense emotions can sometimes break through at pivotal transitional moment such as becoming a parent, & these might bring deep, uncomfortable processes to the surface. Burying or avoiding your emotions will not serve you, they are your power & foundation to your wellbeing. As part of the journey, internal integration might require a spiritual voyage, since it is a way you can begin to feel whole again & balance & let live all the multiple parts without trying to figure it out with your head. Allowing your spiritual centre to embrace all parts might support you at a deeper level & transcend the duality of yin & yang.