This Capricorn Full Moon on 12th July 2014 at 11.24 am brings us point of relationship crisis, but it is also a fulcrum, an opportunity to engage in some far reaching growth. At this full moon, we have Mars conjunct Ceres/Vesta/North Node which are squaring the full moon. This brings us to crossroads that might feel like a crisis and a turning point. To put these dynamics into context; every part of us is urging us towards Divine love at such a rate now that the most uncomfortable things within are in droves, flocking like moths to this Divine flame.
Growth is often three steps forward and two steps back, progress is not a linear thing, and neither should it be, it’s circular. Yes its nice when we are in a period of fast, expansive growth, where it’s all straight forward. But this sort of growth usually just ends up feeding the ego, rather than supporting a deeper soul growth. At the moment, with Mars, Vesta, Ceres and North Node emphasised, action must be taken, space needs to be cleared, focus must be directed, awareness consolidation and experience had. If we want to evolve beyond our familiar, ego identity that keeps us tightly tied to illusion (material or spiritual), that we need get used to being tested. With Vesta and Ceres in the mix what’s unfolding is wholesome at some deeper level.
Being tested is difficult and for some it feels like that dreadful word – crisis. But crisis’ is not chaos, loss or ruin as we are conditioned to believe. It’s the ego that tells us that, that’s what’s white is white and what’s black is black. Without the occasional or even frequent knock, there can be no shift towards self-awareness and self-control, there is no shift into connecting to the deeper dominions of our own divinity. How we handle crisis is often our making, it roots us within, establishing a foundation that’s within the soul rather than without.
Part of the crisis that I witness is that many women are angry. This is for good reason, for millennia our anger has protected our children from abuse and rape. But we can’t change the world from that place now as the heights and depths we are being asked to embody, anchor and live require us to transmute our anger. Our rage masks a sadness, a loneliness, underneath. It is, of course, much easier to defend and project our anger than feel our sadness or loneliness, but it’s also far more destructive, leading to our own alienation, often resulting in challenging relationships. Unprocessed rage will push away all possibility of a loving relationship. The Moon hit Pluto Friday night London time – did you experience a tinge of that rage?
Alas very few women voluntarily make contact with their rage – it’s often through crisis that we are forced to get to know it. Often it holds too much shame, it’s too unbearable, unfathomable or simply too powerful. So at the moment we suffer the triggers, like Friday night. Often hidden, masked and not consciously understood, our rage lies dormant until its time for it to be uncovered. At which point we automatically cry out, what’s wrong with me – there’s something wrong with me! We never entertain the fact that something that feels so ‘wrong’ could hold so much power.
The love within our divinity so loves the rage, and so we must take now a leaf out of this book. For if we begin to drop our fear of it and instead get fascinated by it, then it will no longer need to be fed by our triggers, crying out for our attention. Men and women all have this deep shame within, because we all carry this pain, it is a collective ghost.
It makes itself known to us through disturbances in what and how we eat, through how we look at ourselves in the mirror, through our relationship to sex, through our relationship to our children or partners, or our need for achievement or power over others. These are collective issues that veil our deep separation from the Divine Mother and Unconditional Love. Our rage and shame that indeed rages against life must also be deemed as part of life, as part of reality.
This shame, rage, is part of our makeup on many different levels. It’s helpful to not just see it as ours, but as our parents, our ancestors, our collective world. So while on the surface the theme patterning at this full moon indicate relationship issues with partners and family, dive much deeper and we see its origins. Our personal stories are rooted in our ancestry and beyond that our collective myths – they are embedded in and disguised by personal experience – we do not glean or recognise this at the time of the feeling of it, but they are there, running the ship as it were. What sort of world would we have if we could all acknowledge this openly with each other? Things would be very different – the black and white would no longer be so polarised.
Looking for the mythic/ancestral backdrop that underpins the personal experience of our parents can be life changing, both in terms of us discovering our own roots and in healing estranged parental relationships. We often look for our mother and father in our partners too and invariably these ancestrally ingrained stories, eons old, will also be playing out there too, unconsciously. The deepest patterns are usually the ones we refuse or can’t see, especially since they are bolstering and maintaining the ego, keeping us separate. Remember to our ego, union or oneness is hell.
The Cancer Capricorn axis is the parental axis in the chart. Here we might be questioning how we want to be seen in the world, and does it make us feel safe, and what is our feeling of safety centred upon – our standing in the world or from deep within? Capricorn rules the most public, outward part of the chart, and it’s about us taking responsibility, growing up into our own authority. It’s also about power. So many of us are learning to step into our own authority right now, which requires being integral. A scrupulous and implacable nature doesn’t require a huge shift, just small ones that realign us. In the moment it’s a choice.
In many ways, being integral with ourselves is how we create security and safety within, which is Cancer. For when we can’t rely on ourselves, when our whims rather than our vows and commitments rule over us, then we can’t trust who we are or feel safe in our bodies. But blind integrity doesn’t work either for it creates splits. It’s best to notice when we don’t want to be integral – when we reflect on our making a different choices to what we know serves us. This way we engage and flex our awareness, our capacity for self-acceptance, and our ability to make choices.
Interestingly, we have the Moon in the sign of Capricorn here, its counterpart in a sense. As the moon feels more comfortable with a more inwards experience of energy, its less comfortable with Capricorn. While the Sun, in Cancer, is more on his home turf in Capricorn, so again the polarities are being ask to coexist, find common ground or alternative ways of getting merging. This combined with Mars in Libra (its opposite sign), gives us the theme of the union of opposites. The question here to ask ourselves is how can we more consciously bring our feeling nature out (Cancer Sun) while having more integrity and control with our own emotions (Capricorn Moon)? How can the union of opposites support us to be in relationship itself?
Arnold Mindell’s dance of the X and U energies as discussed in his book The Dance of the Ancient One offers another way of practically working with polarisation. He talks of the X being that which we project, polarise, reject, see as not us, and the U being the part of us that is disturbed by the X, the value that is made uncomfortable by disturber X. Working with these two energies helps us to access the deep spirituality that lies beyond polarisations. This is where this planetary energy wants to take us, beyond our ego, beyond our splits, beyond black and white.
With Mars, the South Node ruler conjunct Libra North Node, with have the polarisation theme highlighted again. There’s some kind of reconciliation or resolution in order, especially since the following day on 13th, Venus and Mars – the current rulers of the North South node axis, are in a friendly, amicable trine. So while this full moon might precipitate a fair bit of confusion and intensity, there’s the potential to see the black in the white and the white in the black.
The new moon offers some wonderful energy to look forward to and July is blessed with no retrogrades, no eclipses and less drama. Jupiter moving into Leo should also bring some fresh energy to start acclimatising to.