We have a Full Full Cancer Eclipse at 20° on 10th January 2020 at 7.21 pm GMT. Uranus goes direct on 11th, which is a big deal on it’s own, but add to that an eclipse, and the Saturn-Pluto conjunction, with the Sun and Mercury bang on it, well, it’s the biggest deal of the century.

I am writing this late after a weekend deluged with too much work and a workshop to run, I have not been organised enough. But I have assumed my in capacity to write that there must be a reason for it.

The process for many people right now is around grief, loss, abandonment, shame, guilt. Deep emotional pain and suffering. It’s not even just ours. Whatever not just ours actually means… I am still learning myself about this collective healing process, that seems to comes through a few select individuals. Not to say that many are not feeling the energies at the moment, but there are a few who are feeling things so intensely, that their process is taking them into the realms of collective healing.

So what are we healing, on a collective level, if we are intensely feeling these energies this month? It feels like it’s the sacred wound. The original split from the Cosmic Mother, and the Source of all, and then the fractures and fractals that arise from that

For those that do not know, this is how the sacred wound began…

In the beginning was silence. Then there was the Big Bang. As the first moment of our world or even universe was born, the perfection was fractured, it was broken. The circle ruptured and into that space time continuum came the whirling spiralling energy of consciousness.

Life immediately began pouring itself into the hole, trying to mend the fracture, the wound, fill the nothingness up, make it whole. This is what we also do, we constantly try to fill the void, repair the fracture. But no matter what we do, it remains.

This black hole, at the heart of it all, and life pouring itself in is what we call evolution. The hole is the sacred wound. The sacred wound contains many fractals and geometries, for as it opened up and spiralled out more, the wounds came forth, the shadows. The first of which was the trinity. Since as the one split into two, a third was immediately created to fill the whole, to reunite.

Whenever a foundational pattern, tenet, blueprint, core fractal was formed, it was instantly transcended by another. This is evolution – we see it in many different systems, I Ching, Tarot, Astrology, 22 Hebrewan sounds – it’s everywhere. These are all evolutionary journeys.

Many of us, who are actively pursuing the deep healing, reside at the core of the fractals. Healing the deepest aspects of this sacred wound. If you imagine a seed, becoming a two shoots, and then dividing, multiplying to become the tree, you could say that those deeply on the spiritual path, who are going through the most, are right at that very base, right at the core, so when they heal, it ripples down into all the other fractals, into everyone else experiencing that particular fractal wound.

When you are right at the core, you kinda know it. You are called to deeply process things. Like those who are called to deeply or repeatedly forgive just about everyone they ever get close to. Or those who experience strong, unusual physical symptoms. Or those who go through losing someone, especially a child.

If you know one of these people, give them your time and heart now. It is those most in pain, most ostracised, or even those most unable to feel themselves that are often in the deepest service. And those people, who perhaps appeared entirely asleep, and never able to wake up, are finally getting the hit, and stepping into the facing themselves, for the collective.

This might come through powerful feelings that cannot easily be contained or controlled. We have Saturn, Pluto, Sun and Mercury and Jupiter not far away. Moon at this eclipse time is on the other side, conjunct the North Node, in her own side and strong, powerful, feeling. We are still experiencing this. It’s rippling effects through all January and is perhaps the defining eclipse for this year.

We are all being asked to go to places we haven’t been to yet. This is about facing the shadow, the sacred wounds, the stuff we refuse, deny, repress. The guilt, shame, abandonment that we refuse, deny, cannot feel, as it’s just too painful. We store this in those dark unilluminated corners, and deep within them, lies our dormant gifts – our multidimensional parts, the higher consciousness waiting to be realised and embodied.

Some people are like gigantic portals, holding these wounds and shadows very strongly. At times it feels almost like they are battling an ocean of pain. They, and us are taking that energy from the collective and sucking it up, like one big plug hole, taking it down into Mother Earth, for transmutation. As she will transmute it all. Do not underestimate your capacity to be in deep service to the collective right now by just feeling and sobbing, or just being, which is the most important thing anyway.

But follow the process all the way with the body, as often there’s a block, there’s something that needs unblocking for the energy to flow.

Individually, we are letting go, we are feeling the pain, you can’t let go until you are prepared or forced to feel the pain, you can’t open your heart until you feel it. As there are many layers within this sacred wound, it’s been around for some time. The problem with Saturn-Pluto, is that if you deny what you are feeling, or haven’t really processed yourself deeply, or are just bobbing around the surface, then the process can be more than a little uncomfortable.

Pluto takes us into the depths of the underworld after all, and Saturn shows us the shadow. It’s not easy to develop an aspect of yourself that can happily journey there. As it’s never going to be a happy experience, at least to begin with. The outcome can be a deep sense of renewal though, like being reborn.

So we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. This way then someone or something else doesn’t have to play the role for us that we refuse to play. We allow it, we surrender, we yield and then it’s not forced upon us. This is the secret to working through these energies.

There are many different levels to the events in our lives at this time. We can’t explain them from just one perspective, yet many are still attempting to do this. To reason it from a linear level. We are expanding outwards from an internal space, yet on the outside it seems like things are contracting. Life is looking too short, death coming in close. Even our connection to time is changing. There’s a lot of fear around.

The vibe is, I have to get my shit together and get moving. And yet this is not a straight forward process. But when the outside is not looking great, and you feel pressured and like there’s no option anymore, we have no place left but to take ourselves inside, to develop an internal resourcing system, and then figure out where we are going with all this.

So it goes without saying that we are dealing with what’s exceeded this lifetime, collectively, back to the sacred wound. But that doesn’t mean we have to sit and methodically going into our past lives. There is no individual karma, that we are paying for. No retribution at an individual level, we are all one collective whole.

This is not a linear processing. Experiences cannot be treated as linear. It is all metaphor, not a truth or reality, no matter how strong a past life experience you had as Joan of Arc, she’s a metaphor – people take the spiritual realms and mystical experience so literally. It is just another way we hold on. Let go of what you deem to be true and you will find many magical mysterious possibilities open up for you.

The Divine Feminine is deeply connected to this law of Divine memory – the akashic records. All our thoughts, words, deeds, intentions, emotions stored within the body of the universe are recorded. Although very few believe it. Most people do not know that it all is being recorded, like we are under one big surveillance – perhaps that’s why some people experience paranoia and think they are being watched – perhaps they know more about what’s real than the rest of us.

It’s one vast information field, holding all impressions ever made in many dimensions. This vast ocean of consciousness is made of very small particles, called subatomics, which actually pass through matter. So this is way beyond matter and chimes with where we are going – this no demarcation between birth and death – everything is all one moment.

And it is deeply rich, this one moment, and it is only contactable when we are deeply down, down inside ourselves, in feeling, sensing, in that one point, right in the core of our belly. Only then can we be deeply intimate with life, and others.

The great Cosmic Mother hears everything and responds, like one big receiving dish, and of course ripples out all and all must also return to the point of origin – coming full circle. Perhaps in this life karma belongs to us, but certainly not beyond this life.

By extension we take in and balance and resolve what’s unharmonious in our world – all of us collectively, some more than others, we absorb and reflect, like the Moon – no demarcation. And so we have closed ourselves down and become tight, clenched, rigid in our consciousness and our bodies – both physical and subtle.

But as our consciousness shifts, the suffering inside and outside becomes so great, we can’t handle it. We can’t be anywhere. If you feel your humanity it’s overwhelming. If you stand only in your Divinity and perfection you are escaping. If you get them both going at once, it’s bringing the planes together, internally feeling, resourcing within and outpouring true compassion. You take responsibility because your human heart hurts and you want to relieve the suffering, but at the same time you know it’s all as it should be.

Right now, it’s about taking responsibility for our own creations in this life – thoughts, words and deeds. The Akashic field is simply feeding back to us the same force, time and time again. This just increases our need for impeccability. That’s the lessons we are getting. So to be impeccable is to be a warrior, a spiritual warrior, you have to be crystal clear.

We are trained to look at life and ourselves in a certain way, we think then that we, and everything in life is so important. But when we actually start seeing, through the eyes of the Moon, where we never really know or can actually figure anything out, our mind short-circuits.

Then we go into our heart, but none of this happens without a fight. Those that carry the depths of humanity’s wound have more blocks than anyone, since they needed the preparation early in life, and this closed them down.

But where the mind thinks things are important, the heart disagrees, as it feels so much, and it’s quality is no boundaries. That’s a scary thing. So as soon as it feels something we don’t like, we zoom right back into the head and think our way out of it. Everything is just SO important.

Stuff is only important or unimportant when you think it is. There is no good, bad, up, down in truth. It’s the Moon eyes, for me. Perhaps that’s why Don Juan called it controlled folly. I always associate the Moon’s journey with mistakes. That through that process of looking in that way, you discover there are no mistakes and yet in a weird kinda way, it is all just a bunch of unintended and intended mistakes. How can we ever know whether something is right or not? At what level is the answer given?

What we do, our decisions and actions while very real, and look like they change things, in actuality change nothing. It’s just an idea we have, of whom and what is important, that gives it credence, definition and meaning. It’s so so funny, which you really think about it. How much it really is just your head. In and of itself everything means and is nothing, what would the heart truly say, if we truly knew it’s words. Is this part of the cosmic joke – that we are so disconnected from and so in need of?

I’m sure I’m being far too philosophical… but I think we need to start opening our minds, so our hearts can breathe. I can hardly easily help people process their heart trauma over written text… so this is the next best thing.

So at least at this time its time to feel our pain, shadow, the darkness – to stir the human caldron. This is why the chaos is rising, with Eris square Saturn-Pluto, the Goddess of discord, we just have to expect it. And to not judge it, as the eyes of the beholder just amplify the plane of reality you see it from. Chaos gives rise to shadow. It also ultimately gives rise to order.

Eris, a dwarf planet orbiting beyond Pluto, was named for the Greek goddess of strife and discord, challenges us to be real and take a stand for what we know to be right. Eris also opposes the asteroid Juno, Roman Goddess of marriage who also similarly symbolises the feminine struggle, this time for equality, equality in terms of lets get our hearts in order.

At the time of this Eclipse, Eris and Juno square the Cancer Moon and the Sun, Mercury, Ceres, Saturn, and Pluto. This forms a powerful cardinal cross, demanding the Divine Feminine to reclaim its power, something it’s struggled deeply with and the masculine to now reconnect with its heart, something it also struggles with. Men are generally good at power, and women good at love. They need to swap driving seats.

So, perhaps we can expect to see some of this in the years to come, men in their hearts. I think we are seeing the power of women, but I’m not sure I’ve witnessed a whole lot of spiritual guys in their hearts yet. But if I’m mistaken, please do let me know, personally, as most of my clients are still women. Either way, it’ll happen whether there’s resistance or not, as all are working to bring forth the harmony of the heart, the Cosmic Order of the higher dimensions, from within the chaos.

The way, as individuals, to experience this, is through the body. When you truly honour what it means to be in a body, and the immense challenge of that, you begin to set yourself free. And so that freedom comes through the body and not in spite of body. Feeling the feelings and the uncomfortable nature of the body, gets us used to this unfamiliar territory. It gets us acclimatised to being in the flow of the body. We stop then wanting to fix things, as we discover a different path. We see how the body unfolds, it is not a fixed form.

So this is not about changing things, at this time, but trusting, allowing them to simply pass through your system naturally. Like a baby does, in their fluidity. Its about bearing witness as that supports the ‘process of body’ to unfold. The Divine Feminine way, the way of the Tao, reaches deep into those unconscious places, that the bright Sun is forbidden to enter. Those painful places shy away from direct sunlight, they will not be met. It requires a soft, lulling, yielding light, that is forgiving, embracing and receiving.

Let yourself go to those unsafe places, of what it means to be a human being, those wounds that are in everyone, by the way, every human being carries them, and feel where it takes you. It takes you inside, and you will build up your inner vessel.

And so through that process, of inwardness, we create our first sense of internal expansiveness, we create inner spaciousnesss. This is where we do not polarise, as we take accountability, and we begin to move from a thimble, to a vessel, to an ocean.

When we take accountability we take back our energy, if there is such a thing, at one level, it becomes ours, we become it all, we fill the hole, temporarily of course, as there’s always flow, and the more we get that loop of receiving to give, the one that flows the abundance of empty to full to empty and so we do not get stuck in the illusion of the state of emptiness or fullness, since they are not real. Thus we begin to experience our true abundance, and that it is completely in our own hands. True abundance comes through feeling, through the heart and letting the flow move through you fully. If you want financial abundance, go into your feelings.

I’m sorry for the lateness. Please feel free to drop me any feedback, I’m getting some really interesting stuff back at the moment and it’s helping me see where things are going…

Tarot – The Moon

A silent being groping its way. Reflected light. The source of the light is hidden from view, while the Moon takes it and projects it, one removed from source. From the ocean of unconsciousness to the mountains of knowing. Lady Moon – your light gently shows disentanglement, confusion, dissolution, liquefaction of illusory phenomena. Deceptive light. The small mind, guardian of causal laws, steps back. Other realities expand. What once was suppressed as harmful and considered to be taboo, is now allowed to come to the surface. Salty tears are transmuting into previous alchemistical essence. Seeing through non dualistic eyes where nothing is what it seems.  This is concerned with that space in the psyche where things are not immediately discernible; where reality meld into one another, less concrete, dimension; and where fear can lurk in the shadows. Our perceptions are more easily influenced. Our primal nature, instinctual responses – supportive and not supportive. Our projections into the world around create the fear, and it is we who take our own lives into our hands when we choose to navigate a landscape that is not fully knowable. A path that isn’t easy.

Archetypes – The Mountain

The Mountain stands eternally in our awareness, calling us towards its peak. It stirs up stoic and regal feelings, reminding us of the long line of spirits, sages sadhus, and gods that made their humble thrones within its snowy peaks. Beware, though, as the Mountain can affect us in two ways: it can inspire and enliven us to rise to new heights and peak experience… Yet it can also create isolation, competitiveness, and inflated sense of self. Standing upon its heights can activate the purist and the perfectionist in us, creating separation from those we deem to be ‘below’. No matter how high you ascend, remember that it is within the core of the Mountain that the gems, minerals and jewels reside. If you think it’s all about going up, you’re following the fool’s path and missing the miner’s magic. When expressed as shadow, it’s ominous, daunting, isolating. When in light its grounded in the eternal, steadfast, uplifting qualities. The summit calls, the pilgrim calls

I ching – The Cauldron 50

Once you create a law, you create a rebel. Hierarchy is a low frequency attempt to maintain order within a community. Hierarchy springs from fear. Whereby harmony exists at it’s highest vibration. We have all been put in the caldron. All races, families – different beliefs, values thrown together. We are striving to move beyond the corruption we see, as a result of hierarchy – one thing being above another. Yet we are all equal. But we believe we either fall into either victim or villain consciousness – depending on your perspective. We feel either empowered or powerless. It doesn’t really matter where you belong, both give rise to the other. We give away our accountability, or we become irresponsible. The keys to going beyond this and establish harmony in the world is intimacy, honesty. We are here to balance the ingredients in the pot, get clear on the soup. Creating a heterarchy requires individual freedom and trust in the self-organising intelligence that emerges from that freedom. Creating harmony is about music, symphony, rhythms. This happens inside and outside. Our deep, hidden shadow must be brought to light, from the caldron of chaos, so we can touch cosmic order.

Isis Cards – Talisman Of Potency

Sacred tools and objects can become an extension of your energy field, focusing your power and intention, helping you heal the split between spirit and matter, bringing physical matter more deeply into light and life. You are encouraged to work with sacred materials in a conscious way to help your own healing and enjoyment of the material world and as a part of your spiritual practice.

Tarot Margaret Petersen

The Human Design System Rave I’Ching Card Lynda Bunnell

Isis Oracle Alana Fairchild

Archetypes Kim Krans

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Current Planetary Positions

Sun 01° Cancer 17' 31"
Moon 03° Capricorn 30' 55"
Mercury 10° Cancer 19' 48"
Venus 06° Cancer 05' 31"
Mars 09° Taurus 35' 57"
Jupiter 06° Gemini 17' 03"
Saturn 19° Pisces 22' 48"
Uranus 25° Taurus 18' 11"
Neptune 29° Pisces 54' 13"
Pluto 01° Aquarius 33' 43" R
Chiron 23° Aries 01' 44"
TrueNode 12° Aries 11' 54" R
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