Leo Full Moon – Specialness

andsesoften  We have a Full Moon in Leo at 7.33 am GMT on 9th February 2020. Shifting gears a little this month, as the cards pulled below suggest. What is this newness, or freshness that we can perceive? It might have felt, and might still feel like life has no purpose. Or that our purpose is temporarily hidden, unattainable, unimportant even, because of other life circumstances.

We forget that our one true destiny is to awaken out of our individual identity and into our universality, our true humanity. But this doesn’t mean letting go of one for the other. The two go hand in hand.

Many do not have the privilege of a spiritual dimension to life, to help support them through the challenging times. And even if we do have it, it’s not always enough in these times, since we are being pushed into unknown territory and now we often feel without a map. And so feel lost a lot of the time. The by-product of feeling lost is suffering, sadness, depression.

But without the experience of a direct connection or stable faith in a greater cosmic Source, we have nothing within to keep us buoyant, resilient. With all the recent challenges, the whole atmosphere of our planet, you could say the collective out-picturing, feels like life has no real purpose at all.

As we come more into more contact with our unity with all, which we all our now, whether it’s conscious or unconscious, we also come into contact with more of our uniqueness, often through a kind of unconscious creative process. Incidentally, the term narcissism is a perfect example of how women disown and project out their own specialness. This is what I mean by unconscious. The more we evolve, the more drop the labels, as subtle awareness doesn’t allow for them.

But anyway, generally speaking, and from a position of superficial viewing, this current period feels like quite entropic. Entropy can feel like melancholy, sadness, even depression. Everyone sees depression as bad, and something to avoid, but in many ways, it is a potentially very creative process. To pick up the creative process, we need to go deeply into the entropy.

The problem is, like many things, we see most processes as ‘states’ – fixed, unchanging, and do not notice the subtle variations within the experience – and so name it a ‘state’. We do not notice the nuances. We do not have that sort of subtle awareness, which attunes and senses into things deeply.

This is partly why we are so miserable. I know, that the more I develop my fine, subtle sensing of my environment and that within and around me, near and distant, the more full and whole I feel. When I only see a blanket of cloud, and that’s all I choose to experience, I will look and see only the grey.

My son, Isadore, said to me yesterday while sat on my knee looking at the sky and talking about the storm to come, that it was silver, pink, blue, black. Of course, I could only see grey, but through his eyes, it was full of so much more. Why do we not choose to see through these kind of eyes? And how do we loose this ability to see like this?

In fact, the weather, is really quite interesting at this time to me. Is it just me, or has it been ‘flirting’ with you also, a little more? It’s been feeling unpredictable, and I’ve felt a lot of subtle differences between and within the last few days. So many moments of what next. We are tethering at an edge.

Somehow feels important. In the same way as feeling lower on some days, and higher on other days, I’ve been noticing subtle shifts and with it the impact on emotions and feeling – the reflection of the weather in us and us in the weather. We want to maintain the happiness, stability, and yet the weather says, be it all, right now.

Recently also, it felt as though there was something carrying us through, perhaps this is the nature of some of the recent planetary energy, it’s felt ok to give over to that, to be very internal, or lost, or in a surrender state of consciousness. And in many ways, we haven’t been given much of a choice.

On some levels, the environment is speaking to us and perhaps this is indicative of our own feeling, within our own space. The ground beneath perhaps feels either fertile or sterile. But this is whether we lose our subtle awareness, it is never one of the other, it is what you make it to be, this is the nature of being a creator being.

But with Venus moving into Aries, we’ve had a short flavour or burst of creation. And to all accounts, its being met with some conflict. With Venus moving into Aries and then hitting Chiron, it feels a bit like it gets temporarily shut down.

While we are eager for less entropic breakdown and more creation, the creation feels almost premature, and the question has been, now what do I do with this small seed of growth? I think we have felt quite bolstered the fast few weeks, and now this new growth is being exposed to the elements – namely our own internal weather, or own inner critic!

It’s a rare thing, to actually feel quite uneasy about creation. Usually we are keen on it. But all the dissolving into ashes over the past few months have left us very loose in the wind, not sure what to trust in, what the truth is, and so it’s easier to say, well, lets just stay in the dark void, for a little while longer and ignore the green shoot.

Unfortunately though, it’s now feeling like it’s time to start coming out! Rest assured though, we are still in the depths of winter, with a very non-linear, nonlocal – or rather analinear feel.

A process of entropy involves entering into a void space – it resets our systems. It’s a withdrawal time. Sure, we are still there. The withdrawal, the need for safety, security and internal connection is strong now. It’s like a kind of stasis.

So there’s not a huge enthusiasm for life now, from this place, but it’s providing the seeds for a delicate tender shoot. And this is the creative process itself. It’s like the bleeding time on menstruation – in this intangible space, the potential of something is germinating, and while we cannot see it, we can sense, touch and taste it.

So while Leo, is about authenticity and expression and daring to step out and be seen, in many ways, it’s also a time of perhaps feeling a taste of the ‘coming out’. Just not to a degree which feels comfortable, for feeling many known and unknown aspects, many comfortable and uncomfortable elements. It’s a time for acceptance of what is.

We are about to move into Pisces season, with the Sun moving in around 21st, yet with Venus in Aries, newly out of Pisces, and only Mercury (whose about to go retrograde) now in Pisces, it feels a little like the embolic waters broke too soon. But we will soon be going right back inside.

Yet creativity cannot be controlled, it comes when it comes. We just need to open a space for it and wait. This requires time alone, to be, and allow. This is a time to trust in the aloneness, and that the creativity, and our specialness, will flow.

In truth, there is nothing outside of the process of creation – this is why our creation myths reflect the foundation of the archetypes. Specialness endures in our mythologies and becomes frozen into our deities. When we realise we are that process itself, we are those deities, then we are not longer separate.

Being creative and unique is who we are, and we need to be this without compromise. This nature is our beauty – in the familiar, ordinary, seemingly non sacred world, and also in that which is clearly expressing specialness.

The feel of this time, is to catch the sacredness of it all, despite what our everyday mind reflects back to us, and pick up the place of the heart, where we can appreciate and love it all, regardless.

This Moon post has felt different to me. I am speaking more from the position of ‘I’. We are beginning to find that position of authenticity and shine, ready or not. It’s a coming out, to be ourselves.

Yes Venus conjunct Chiron at this Full Moon feels potentially scary. Like a vulnerability gets seen and it breaks open the heart, if we allow it. It’s about feelings, it’s about our sensitivity.

And if you are sensitive and a bit shamanic, you feel where others do not. If that’s the case, avoid making everything around you about you, as the uneasy, uncomfortable, raw feelings and fears come through the easiest channel – often the one who is the most sensitive. That’s how the ghosts, the taboo, the forbidden stuff makes itself known – through the person with the most sensitivity and awareness to express, hold, frame it.

That’s the crap thing about being sensitive and fluid, you are brought to service at all times and even in circumstances where it should be just pure enjoyment, you are asked to pull your socks up and get to work. There’s no escape or day off it seems sometimes. But this is what is required of us, if we are serious about awakening. There are NO days off.

But perhaps we don’t feel quite ready, I’m not sure I do, but then to truly follow ourselves, to be accountable for what is in you as an expression of something beyond you, this is what we are getting ready for. Perhaps it’s not about being ready, its about being brave and fearless, and catching what the moment requires of you and letting your being bring out your doing, with no hesitation. It this the new territory? A state of openness, rawness, tenderness, constantly on the edge of the unknown. This is perhaps the truth we have been searching for.

It’s not easy to try something left field, out of character, stepping over the edge is the way we expand who we are, and move beyond our fear. This is how we dispel and dissolve fear. It’s not always what we expect, and neither is it always popular or positive, but this is the Tao, the way. Every other way leads us into potential entropy, in slow decline. And neither is that bad, if we catch it before it runs too deep.

Wherever you are right now, let it be unique, let it be expressed, despite the mess that accompanies it, it is what it is, it’s the process not the destination. Care less for what it is, let there be mistakes and just embrace freshness, newness and your uniqueness.

Tarot – 3 of Coins

Entering a new space. The number three is all about daring to start something new and letting go of the old. The wish to create a space to function as a refuge as well as a meeting place. A space for new experiences and opportunities. This can also mean a spiritual or public place. An awareness of physical space can be created through physical exercise, yoga and massage. In regard to material exchange, this card represents trade. Ideas and thoughts grow stronger and become more concrete. All three levels – the physical, social and emotional – cooperate. It can also be about recognition, appreication or a sense that work was not in vain.

Archetypes – Kairos

We have all had the experience of timelessness, of life beyond the ticking of the clock. It may be felt as the standing still, slow motion, or losing track of time on a walk or in a lovely conversation. This is known as mythic time, and it is the territory of kairos. This card suggests there is a secondary time continuum that goes beyond earthly clocks and schedules. Within this nonlinear realm we access Divine timing. A single moment ripens wth auspiciousness…. And our actions change the trajectory of our whole life. Time becomes a living thing that watches over us and tells us precisely when to speak or act. When this card appears, it is all about patience and precision. No clock can guide you… wait for the rush of inner knowing and not a moment longer. The word evil comes from the word unripe, consider that everything has a time of ripeness. Now when you are in alignment and in ease with decisions and when you are fighting against time.

Isis Cards – Rising Sun

A dark phase and struggle is over. A new phase is upon you – one of hope, glory, light and triumph. It is won through boldness and persistence. You have been through much and now victory is upon you beloved, for the Divine Solar Child, a new consciousness within you is born.

I Ching – The Wanderer Hexagram 56

Seekers of newness, the teller stories, moving into the metaphoric, non literal – inspiring, luminous experiences that enrich you – but of a homeopathic dose. This is about not knowing where you are going, knowing home is no where, living in a space without boundaries. Travelling alone you can be guided by just yourself, where profound experiences pierce you. Moving away from distractions, investments, attachments and conditioning – regular routines, addictions, patterns and behaviour that pulls you down in your 5 senses. The wanderer embraces the uncertainty and surrender, moving through life with fluidity, flexibility and adaptability. It’s a time for seeing just what is in front of your eyes and letting that unfold, AND the vast horizon, of not knowing where you are going. This about mutability and transmutation also, lightening the load to embrace the new. You can’t travel freely with a heavy bag of wood that you need to burn – think what fears need to be released – through all levels of your being and life. It can be a time for changes – homes, careers. This is a gift of feeling, sensuality and aliveness.