We have a Full Moon in Aries at 1 degree, just as the Sun has moved into Libra, the time of the equinox. The Full Moon is exact on 25th September 2018 at 3.53 am BST 2 days after the equinox. It also occurs on the Aries point and Galaxy M87. Together they amp up this already strong Full Moon.
There’s a lot happening. We are approaching Venus retrograde in the first week of October. Black Moon Lilith conjuncts Mars, and Venus squares Mars (and BML). Mars conjuncts the South Node and Pluto is about to go direct at the end of the month.
Chiron is conjunct the Sun-Moon and a Vesta-Saturn conjunction makes a square to the Sun-Moon. The Sun is still in conjunction with Mercury.
The energy is seemingly dynamic, spurring us forward, initiating us into new phases of growth. But we might not feel like this is about ‘doing’. It’s happening at a much deeper level with Chiron at play. It’s happening at a level of awareness and sensitivity. There is a quickening, but also a slowing down and an appreciating of the present holding the importance.
Chiron, the archetype of the wounded healer, plays a central role in this Full Moon making an exact conjunction to the Moon. He brings up layers of raw, primal feelings, and of disconnection from our sense of self. It’s a repeat of what many have been experiencing this Summer – this sense of dealing with our deep, deep stuff. It’s a character shaping aspect.
Jupiter in Scorpio challenges us to expand our belief systems. Not only of what we believe but our sense of purpose, meaning and the unfolding nature of reality, life and time. We are moving way beyond rigid beliefs into a reality where one moment there is one truth, and the next, another. Many possibilities, no certainties, many dimensions, levels, realities. It just depends on your perspective. This is not an easy terrain to navigate.
Pluto, the ruler of Scorpio, ends its annual retrograde on 30th September, another planet turning direct after all the Summer retrogrades. And another signal that we are ready to take initiating steps forward in our lives. Pluto sojourns Capricorn reminding us that we always have a choice, even when we feel like we don’t. Think back to April – what challenges did you meet then and what have you learnt through them over the last few months? How are you different? What edges have you moved beyond? What do you see now which you couldn’t see back then.
A lot of people are dealing with the belief or karmic programme that life is full of trials and tribulations. This Summer has been so hard for so many, and we have directly met that “in order to grow I need to suffer”. We don’t need to suffer in order to evolve. But it’s felt like that, perhaps more now than at any other time.
Venus retrograde is furthering this process of aligning more with the process at hand, rather than this old concept of suffering. We only suffer if we choose fear but of course many on this planet seemingly have little choice but to choose fear. Only some of us in western society have the privilege of having a clear choice.
But life can be seen as an alchemical process of transformation, and Venus’ journey through Scorpio brings us into what might be termed a metaphorical death. Through Venus’ upcoming retrograde, our lives will be transformed to an extent we never thought possible. More about that in the next post but it’s good to be at least a little prepared for that. The preparation being to stay deeply connected and related to yourself and others. To avoid spinning out and off.
There’s a strong sense that we are working with what’s right here in the present moment in order to somehow mend what’s broken, even though it can’t be mended. There’s an even stronger sense that we are at an impasse or in no man’s land – there’s no road map anymore – we can’t go by the past and we are not allowed to project into the future.
It’s almost like we are party to a much larger fate, and we know it, and one which we can’t control. But we can surrender to it. We are being shown it’s not about where we want to go, or some outcome we have in mind for our lives, but about the unfolding process, letting the moment, along with our ideas, beliefs, emotions flow through and out of us. When we hold on to anyone or anything, we cannot be in the moment. The more we flow, the more fluid we become, the lighter we feel. Even if what we need is to flow into an active, yang energy. “If there is nothing to fight for then there is nothing that can break the flow” Tao Te Ching.
On 25th September there is another meeting of Mars, Black Moon Lilith conjunct South Node. This time Mars is direct. There’s also a square with Venus. This translates to looking at our desires, wants and boundaries and balancing all that with our social and future self. Again, we can’t keep doing the same thing again and again. Black Moon Lilith is removing that which needs to be removed. It’s about seeing what we see, but giving it up, time and time again, to the unknown. We perhaps have just one thing left, the current moment – it might feel like our only safe space.
Saturn conjunct Vesta squaring this Full Moon brings into the mix our devotion. Devotion to what? People, ideals, traditions, the present, past, future. What are you devoted to that might not be working for you now and what can you re-devote yourself to? Our inner way of relating to ourselves and how we serve others in our relationships might be a part of this new picture.
There’s a lot of discipline required on our paths at the moment, even with all the complications and unknowns. Of course we can be very good at initiating, creating solutions and active empowerment, which are all needed, but can we be disciplined enough to be connected to a depth of feeling within? Can we be present with no expectations, living with the unknown, with what is and what is not and what might be?
Perhaps there’s a sense of futility or powerlessness – that pushing, forcing either internally or externally will not change a situation. It can be an extraordinary strengthener for us to be with that, to see it about a sense of timing perhaps or that we have more to learn. It requires an incredible discipline to sit with that, totally in the present, not trying to change what is. There is such a temptation right now to have it quick, to react and get defensive, to hide or protect our hurting place.
There are many one size fits all responses to life. But these responses simply do not take into account that we all have and need specific conditions for each of us to learn. We can’t escape that. And we shouldn’t place what we deem right for us onto others. All diversity is needed on this planet. We need to meet ourselves and others where we are at – not with a solution.
Our generalisations and stereotypes are a part of what needs to be challenged. We are confronting our inability to change or fix situations. We are facing the emotional pain around that. We are seeing that with all the quick fixes, with all the possible solutions offered, are no substitute for being with the present moment. Ironically staying still often brings the change since we are aligning with the present, things can easily flow from this place.
The idea of a solution in and of itself ignores the potentially huge learning path of staying with what is and garnering through our unique experience. And of course supporting others to do the same, if no other solutions are simply opening up, then we stay with what is. We often want something other than what we have – why is that – we have to ask ourselves? We also often want others to be happy and be something other than what they are or where they are at. We struggle to stay with the uncomfortable dynamic of someone else’s pain. We want to get them out of it.
How can we stay in these unknown places with more equanimity for ourselves and others, and without self-negation? How can we keep the space open for our own creativity and expression while at time feeling powerless to make change happen?
We think we know, we believe we know, yet we do not know. We can never know – it’s not a safe place anymore. Believing we know the truth about something or even worse, that we know the future, catapults us out of reality and out of the present moment. Certainty about things is intolerable in relationships too, it makes people impossible to live with. Yet in any given moment we are required to enter into a level of knowing. While in the next, we need to be prepared to let it go and surrender it to the vast unknown.
It’s important to see that the knowing and not knowing are on different levels. We know things feel real, with the movements, energetic connections, resonances, but how they are going to play out are unknown – you might know that there’s something true at some level perhaps through your body experience, or through a dream that felt like a premonition, but you never really know how it’s going to evolve.
Perhaps the answer is to learn to relate deeper to ourselves and others and avoid getting caught up in thinking we are the ones on the right path, while our partners and friends need to get their shit together.
Enjoy the present moment without thinking there’s a need to make something of it or conversely letting it overwhelm us. Let it go simply where it wants to go, avoid making things of things. Get comfortable in the unknown.
With all this in mind, and it’s a massive shift, many of us are coming to terms with our now very different needs and values. After all this Summer’s intense energy, some of the realisations might feel painful. Some of these realisations we perhaps aren’t even sure about, we just have the awareness that we are changing or are somehow different and that we can’t go back to that old awareness. Perhaps even if we are in a place where we can acknowledge our different needs, we still don’t know if we can get what we truly need met in the present or near future.
The trine between Uranus and Saturn making a quincunx to the Sun helps us to break free from reality as we know it. Breaking free from stereotypes, generalisations, roles, one-size fits all, patterns and deep limiting programmes of what reality should be, or how it should be experienced.
This isn’t an easy feat – it’s not been an easy year. On top of all this is the fear that we encounter as we try to break free. The fear of being seen, of being vulnerable, exposed. Lets just stay with it all, give space to it and gently use our tools to work with what is present as best we can.